A bride on the sunset cruise

So Friday we went on a sunset cruise with Elvis. Not the Elvis that owns the bar in Sandy Ground but the Elvis that organizes the snorkeling trips and other water activities at Cap Juluca.

Besides the band, there were two honeymooning couples on the cruise. They were pretty darn cute—and a bit drunk. One of the new brides, who I will just call W, was more than a little drunk. She was completely hammered. And that was before the cruise started.

But she was a cheerful drunk. When we told her we were a band and were on the island for rehearsals, she insisted on having her picture taken with us. “Who knows?” she said. “Some day ya’ all could be famous.”

So she plopped herself down on Bail-Outs lap and Elvis took her picture. Then she got herself another glass of champagne (though Elvis was giving her the smallest pours he could get away with without her really noticing).

I asked Elvis if this was typical for a sunset cruise. This is nothing, he said. “Let me tell you about the Russians.” And he did. It seems these Russians had heard stories about men like Elvis and wanted to see for themselves if it was true or not. “They offered me several thousand dollars just to, you know, lower my shorts.”

“Ohmygosh!” gasped W. “Did you do it?”

Of course not, said Elvis.

“Oh darn,” she said. I think she was wondering herself. And I was wondering how Elvis was going to handle her. So was everyone on the boat. Including her husband.