Better than the real thing

The saltwater lagoon at the Grand Hyatt Kauai.

This is sad to say. In fact, it’s downright embarrassing. The whole time I’ve been on Kauai I’ve yet to get into the ocean. It’s not completely my fault. First of all, at the other two resorts I stayed at—the Waimea Plantation Cottages and the Hanalei Colony Resort—you couldn’t really get in the ocean because the beaches were dangerous. And, sure, I could have gotten in my car and driven to one of the dozens of nice beaches on the island but you know what? I didn’t.

So now I’m down to my last couple of days on Kauai and I’m thinking I really need to go for a swim in the ocean. So this morning I slathered on the sunscreen, got into my board shorts, and headed for the beach in front of my room. And guess what? There was nobody in the water. Not one single person. Which is kind of strange, don’t you think? So I found someone who worked at the resort and asked them if it was safe to go swimming off the beach.

Not really, he said. “People do it. But they’re crazy. We usually have the paramedics out here at least once or twice a week.”

Paramedics? Really?

The way I looked at it, I had two options: I could go back to my room, put some stuff together, make the 15 minute hike to the self-parking lot and then drive a few miles down to Poipu Beach, look for a spot to park, cart my crap down to the sand, and go for a swim in the ocean. Or I could just stay at the resort.

Guess what I decided to do?

So I walked down to the pool. Except the Grand Hyatt doesn’t just have a “pool.” They have like a water park. With faux-lava boulders and a winding stream and waterfalls and a slide. It’s huge. And amazing.

But it gets better. I also discovered that between the enormous freshwater pool and the beach they have a saltwater lagoon. With a sand beach and reef fish and kayaks that you can paddle around. Plus there are no sharks or stingrays in the lagoon. And you can order a mai tai from your lounge chair in the sand. Who needs the ocean?