Getting to second base with the Blarney Stone

Mary driving Thomas' car on our way to kiss the Blarney Stone. Photo by Katie Botkin.

Another letter from the fabulous Katie Botkin who is spending her summer on a Grand Tour of Europe.

Letter from Ireland

“I’m staying in Emma and Thomas’ house after their wedding. Fortunately for everyone concerned, they are not there; they’re in downtown Cork staying at a hotel, on something they have dubbed a “mini-moon” which, I think, is more than a weekend getaway but less than a honeymoon. With me at their house are three other girls, all of whom I just met at the wedding. So we decide to go to Blarney, because Nicole and Emily want to. We borrow Thomas’ car.

“Mary, who is from Kansas, drives a stickshift in the States, but here, she has to do it with her left had, on narrow roads, in an unfamiliar city that appears to be void of street signs. And everyone is driving on the left side of the road, which means that instinctually, she’s got everything backwards. I sit very still in the back seat, yelling only on occasion. I keep wondering if it will ruin Thomas and Emily’s honeymoon if we wreck their car.

“We don’t know how to get to Blarney, and between our lack of a map and the lack of signage, Mary reverts to fairly unscientific methods of getting us there. Once, she just follows a line of assertive cars. Another time, she thinks her gut tells her to turn left. Amazingly enough, we make it out of the city onto a road that directs us clearly in the correct direction, and we follow the arrows all the way to Blarney Castle, which is even more touristy than I remember from the last time I was there.

“Nicole and Emily say they won’t kiss the Blarney stone because of germs, but Mary makes them, by kissing it herself for the second time. I’ve already kissed it as well, and I’m apparently not as fond as the practice as Mary. I’m also not sure if kissing the stone twice is supposed to cancel the gift of gab (like in some math problems) or if it’s one of those things (whose philosophy you ponder when you’re supposed to be doing math problems) that improves once you get to second base. I don’t ask. We eat some soup in an Irish pub and then head home.”