How to say oysters in French

Natacha runs the front desk at my hotel, Le Chat Botté (which is different from the restaurant of the same name where I had dinner the other night). She also serves breakfast to guests in the garden every morning.

 

My French is pitiful but when I first checked in, Natacha was quite generous with me. But this morning she was cold. She strode up to me and, with hands on hips, said, “Que aimez-vous?”

Which seemed like a silly question to me since what everybody gets is the same thing—a basket of bread and pastries along with crocks of homemade peach and strawberry jams.

“Um…the bread basket?” I ventured.

She gave me the French version of the stink-eye. “You must try to speak French,” she said. “It is the best way.”

Nevertheless, she went off and brought me my basket of pastries and a café au lait.

My game plan this afternoon is to go visit an oyster farm on the island. I love oysters. So I asked Natacha, when she came by with more coffee, if she could teach me how to properly say oysters in French.

“Wheat-r-r-r-r-r-s,” she said, swallowing and twirling the r’s in her mouth as if she were gargling with them. Each time I said it, she shook her head and said, “Non,” wagging a finger at me like I’d been a naughty boy.

Frustrated as much as I was, she brought her face close to mine, held my hand to her lovely white neck, and told me to watch her mouth and tongue very…very…closely.

Which I did. With great fascination. And just like that, I could say oysters in French.

“Tres bon,” she said.

Natasha taught French in New Orleans until, as she says, Katrina blew her home. I asked her why she doesn’t teach English on Île de Ré instead of working in the hotel and she said she felt like she needed a break from teaching.

“But if you stayed around, I might give you lessons,” she said. “You’re a quick student.”

It’s something to think about, isn’t it?