Meeting the two Amandas

Dining in Italy isn’t as expensive as you think. Yes, a few years ago one dollar was just about equal to one euro and now the dollar is worth about 75 cents. But here’s the thing: In Italy they don’t tip! So that saves you at least 15% on your bill, right? Plus, if you go to a place like the Bar Ferrari in Perugia, you can get a glass of Umbrian vino rosso for 3 euros and they throw in a plate of Napoletana pizza (tomato, oregano, olive oil) and another plate of olives, cornichons, prosciutto, salame, cheese, ham, capers, and other goodies for free. Back home, we call this dinner. And the total is 3 euros (or less than 5 bucks). 

The other good thing about the Bar Ferrari is it’s where I meet the Two Amandas. They are sitting at the best table in the bar, with views of the red-tile roofed town and the Umbria hills, nursing a couple of glasses of Orvietto Classico and slowly eating the free antipasto plate when Ireland Amanda gets up to take a photo of Australia Amanda seated at the window with a view. Being the ace photographer I am, I offer to take a photo of both of them. And then they invite me to join them.

Introductions all around: Ireland Amanda is a social worker from Cork; Australia Amanda is a teacher from Cairns. They tell me they came to Perugia because they thought they might get lucky. “In fact,” says Ireland Amanda, who is pale and blond and very attractive, “on the train from Rome yesterday was the cutest guy and I’m thinking, ‘Hmmm….,’ and then he takes off his raincoat and sure enough he’s wearing a priest’s collar.”

Still, I say, Catholic priests, Ireland, pretty girls….

 

 

“True enough, but never mind,” she says, waving off the idea. “We found the Perugina store today and chocolate is better than sex. In fact, it’s better than religion.”

“Well, the church, yes, fuck the church,” says Australia Amanda. “But sex is pretty good. In fact, if I remember correctly, I used to quite enjoy it.”

“It can be good,” says Irish Amanda, ever the diplomat. “But chocolate is better. Less mess all ‘round and when you’re done, you’re done. Unlike boyfriends.”

Australia Amanda considers this argument for a moment but doesn’t seem to be convinced.

Irish Amanda drains her wine and slaps the glass on the table. “Never mind all that,” she says. “The night is young yet. And we’re in a four-bed room in the hostel and the other two beds are empty and if that doesn’t work out, well, I’ve still got a box of Baci chocolates.”

She winks, we all tink empty glasses, and away the two Amandas go.