November 2011

An outrigger canoe on the Hanalei River. Photo by David Lansing.

Years ago—like in the early 90s—I paddled a kayak up the Hanalei River. Back then, there was just this one little guy from Hanalei who had a handful of rentals and he’d hang out at the beach by the pier and for a few bucks he’d let you take out one of his sit-on-tops. I remember spending about an hour or so paddling back to a little fern grotto at which point the river became too shallow and narrow to go any further. Not once did I see another person on the river that day.

Now there are all kinds of vendors in Hanalei where you can rent kayaks, outriggers, aqua cycles, and stand-up paddle boards. There are a couple of vendors right along the highway as you’re driving into Hanalei and a couple more down by the pier. I thought about taking a kayak out one morning but changed my mind after watching a guide try to give paddling instructions to a dozen Japanese tourists who obviously didn’t speak any English. Since the river is so narrow, the idea of fighting my way through the throngs of kayakers getting their first lesson seemed less than inviting.

Instead, I went over to the Dolphin restaurant, which is right on the banks of the Hanalei River, and had some fresh ahi poke and a local beer. I sat at one of the outside tables, munching on my poke and watching the river enthusiasts slowly pass by. Sometimes it’s mo’ bettah, bro, to stay on the bank and just watch the river go by.

The zen temple near Hanapepe. Photo by David Lansing.

Driving from one end of Kauai to the other (several times), I’ve noticed three things: One, there is a lot of road construction going on, which makes driving particularly miserable; two, there are lots of honor-system fruit and flower stands along the highways (more on that later), which is kind of cool; and, three, there are a shitload of churches on the island.

If you Google “churches Kauai,” as I just did, you’ll discover that there are anywhere from 82 to 101 churches on the islands (either some people can’t count or they simply don’t count certain types of churches; for instance, none of the lists I looked at included the temple at Kauai’s Hindu Monastery where I got in so much trouble last week).

A couple of things about the lists of churches that interested me: There is only one Mormon church (and aren’t they supposed to be the fastest growing religion in the world?) but there are ten Catholic churches (aren’t they declining?). There’s a Bahai church, two Charismatic churches, and nine Buddhist temples or missions. So I guess the Buddhists are kicking the Mormons asses. At least on Kauai.

One of the most intriguing churches to me is the Soto Zen Temple near the turnoff to Hanapepe. I keep driving by it so yesterday, after hanging out at the nearby salt ponds, I stopped by. It’s a very intimidating place. For one thing, you never see anyone on the grounds. It’s like a ghost temple. For another, there are all these signs and chains and traffic cones warning you not to go on the property. I mean, they don’t want you getting within a hundred yards of the place. Which just seems so un-Zen-like, don’t you think? Of course, despite all the signs advising me to stay away, I crawled over the chain guarding the driveway to take a picture of the temple. I hope this doesn’t get me into trouble with Buddha or his pals.