David Lansing

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My hejira to the desert

David Lansing, 15 months

Me, at 15 months, preparing for my first road trip–alone, of course.

When I was nine, or maybe ten, and living in Southern California, I convinced our next-door neighbor, who was leaving her husband, to take me with her to Casper, Wyoming. She drove a blue Corvair, the car that made Ralph Nader famous when he condemned it in a book as “Unsafe At Any Speed,” and I remember Marge—that was the woman’s name—crying so hard as we drove through the desert north of Barstow that the car continually went off the highway. Sometimes she’d just drive through the soft sand, plowing over cacti and tumbleweeds. I thought it was great fun.

When I was sixteen, living in Central Oregon, I stole my father’s pickup and drove to Olympia, Washington, to a Woodstock-like music festival over Labor Day weekend. A few years later, I left my dorm room at college in the middle of the night and hitchhiked down to Disneyland, without telling a soul, just because I was tired of the rain. When my mother died, I got in the car and drove the length of Baja and then back again. I have no idea why I chose to drive through Mexico, but I did.

I like road trips. Always have. Particularly by myself. I like putting on some Joni Mitchell and getting all melancholy about nothing in particular (from her song Hejira: I’m traveling in some vehicle/I’m sitting in some café/A defector from the petty wars/That shell shock love away/There’s comfort in melancholy/When there’s no need to explain/It’s just as natural as the weather/In this moody sky today).

I like driving through forests, along a river, down into a valley of chaparral, through endless miles of desert. When I was 25, I went on an overland trip from Nairobi to London; my favorite part was getting lost in the Sahara.

You know it never has been easy/Whether you do or do not resign/Whether you travel the breadth of extremities/Or stick to some straighter line.

When I was growing up, my family spent almost every Labor Day weekend camping along the Colorado River in Arizona. I remember our station wagon breaking down and being towed to some dinky little gas station near Blythe or maybe Parker. My dad hung canvas bags filled with water in front of the grill to cool the engine but the radiator overheated anyway and my sister and I would sit on top of our metal Coleman cooler, a square block of ice keeping mostly beer and sodas cool, trying to lick our Creamsicles before they melted down our arms, while my dad conversed with the mechanic. It was always over a hundred along the river so we’d sleep on air mattresses in our swimsuits, no sheets or blankets, close enough to the river’s edge that you could reach out and touch the water passing swiftly by.

I tell you all this because Labor Day is approaching and I have an ache in my body to get in the car and head for the desert. It started when I read a story over the weekend about the Hatch Chile Festival, in Hatch Valley, New Mexico, which starts on Saturday with a parade down Main Street. I read that story and without even knowing I was doing it, I found myself looking at a map of the southwest and tracing the route with my finger, murmuring the names of places I might pass through: Desert Hot Springs, Joshua Tree, Blythe, Sonoran Desert, Saguaro National Park, Las Cruces, Hatch Valley.

A lot of road. A lot of desert.

I think I just may do it.

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It’s almost exactly 75 miles from the airport in Puerto Vallarta to Punta el Custodio where Chris and Malin Fletcher have a spectacular Mexican retreat called Casa Corona del Mar ( https://puntacustodio.com/casa-corona-del-mar/). But the drive is not easy. And you’d be crazy to attempt it at night.

Punta el Custodio photo by David Lansing

Punta el Custodio photo by David Lansing

I could tell you about the narrow two-lane road that winds through the jungle and how you’re likely to get stuck behind a slow bus headed towards Guadalajara or an over-loaded truck hauling watermelons or used tires, but I think it’s better to just quote from the driving directions Chris sent me:

“Pass the Punta Mita turnoff with the cemetery on the right. Around Rincon de Guayabitos you’ll see a tall water tower that looks like a flying saucer. Past that is Las Varas. This is where everyone misses the turn-off, so STAY ALERT. Enter Zacualpan—lots of speed bumps. Turn left at the sign (there may or may not be a sign) for San Blas, just before the town plaza on the left and the church on the right. Two BIG speed bumps. Take care not to turn into Turtle Beach. Take the cobbled road down into Platanitos and continue straight past the thatched restaurants on your right and up the rutted hill (beware of raised rocks and giant potholes). You will come to a brick compound wall and a gate with a sign that says RING BELL. WELCOME! You are at Punta El Custodio!”

 Piece of cake. I only got lost four or five times. Once I missed the Y in the road just before the sleepy little village of Ixtapa and ended up on a dusty dirt road where several cows were taking a nap. Later I missed the cobbled road into Plantanitos and continued for half an hour along the road to San Blas. Easy mistakes.

Photo by David Lansing

Photo by David Lansing

But I finally found their compound, Casa Corona del Mar. And there was Chris, bare-chested, out on the patio, filleting a Spanish mackerel he’d caught that morning (and that his cook and housekeeper, Marta, would shortly turn into ceviche for our lunch) while his son, Nick, took the discarded entrails and scraps and tossed them from the rocks above the coast high into the air where a squadron of acrobatic frigate birds snatched them up, tussled, and sometimes dropped their precious catch into the ocean, 30 feet below, where the pelicans were lazily waiting for their own lunch.

It was like watching an exotic circus act. But here the performers truly were wild.

 

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The Gift: II

My father was more Jackie Gleason than David Niven, more Walter Matthau than Fred Astaire. Sort of the blue-collar Frank Sinatra, I guess you’d say, a man who loved meatloaf, Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass, and playing ping-pong. He admired Steve McQueen, never owned a suit, and always won a free turkey around Thanksgiving in his bowling league. Always.

Oddly enough, his drink of choice was a Manhattan, which, even as a kid, I sort of admired and was embarrassed by at the same time. I’ll tell you a story: When I was 10, maybe 11 years old, I used to go with my dad on Thursdays, league night, to the bowling alley where I’d get paid a buck plus all the cherry cokes I could drink to keep score for my father’s team. All these guys—most a little younger than my dad—would down Coors all night, but not my father. He’d order a Manhattan from the gum-smacking bar girl, and she’d bring it to him on the rocks in a plastic cup. At this point my father would pull out from his shoe bag a ridiculous cocktail shaker adored with drink recipes. He would dump in the contents of the cup, then strain the drink into a ribbed martini glass, which he also kept in his shoe bag. Finally he would pull out an old jam jar of brandied cherries he’d preserved himself and plop one of the scarlet bombs in his glass and another in my coke.

He called my drink a virgin Manhattan—“Which, as you’ll discover, is a very rare thing”—chuckling as he clinked my glass. This is the part that always embarrassed me: the clinking of glasses, the lame joke. This is the part I admired: His bowling buddies always treated him as if he were a bon vivant and I a young prince. It left an impression.

But I came of age in a time of Harvey Wallbangers, tequila sunrises, and California wines hawked by a bloated Orson Welles. The first time I had a real Manhattan was at my father’s funeral. I liked it immensely, which rather surprised me. I liked the way the rosy hue of sweet vermouth deepened the amber color of the whiskey. I liked its smoky sweetness, the way just the slightest sip filled my mouth with lubricious lushness. Most of all, I liked the way it made me feel on a day when much seemed lost in my world: comforted, calm, stoically philosophical. From that day forward, my father’s Manhattan became my signature drink.

The Manhattan is the Cary Grant of cocktails. The most charming, the most elegant, the most sophisticated of libations you can order. It is, quite simply, the finest cocktail on the face of the earth. It’s the grandfather of the martini and the sine qua non of all French-Italian cocktails. It’s also inherently sexy (though I’ve yet to meet a woman who can actually tie the cherry stem into a know using just her tongue).

The Manhattan has gone through a number of permutations over the decades—from rye, originally, to Canadian whisky during Prohibition, to my father’s preference, bourbon. And there’s always been disagreement over the type of vermouth to use—and just how much. The story goes that the original Manhattan was made with equal amounts of both dry and sweet vermouths, and this is still called a Perfect Manhattan, though in my mind there’s nothing perfect about it.

My father made his with Italian vermouth, as called for on the recipe of his goofy cocktail shaker. Back then, people referred to dry vermouth as French and sweet vermouth as Italian because that’s where they came from. These days there are all sorts of vermouths out there, including sweet whites, so you have to be more specific.

Now, about the whiskey. Hardly anyone makes a rye Manhattan these days, largely because hardly anymore makes rye whiskey. But if you order a Manhattan back East and don’t specify the liquor, most bartenders will use a Canadian whisky—usually Canadian Club—which they will tell you is a rye whiskey.

Nonsense.

Almost all Canadian whiskies are simply blended, which means they come from a number of different barrels (Crown Royal, for instance, creates its blend with as many as 50 whiskies). If you ask me, using a blended Canadian whisky to make a Manhattan is like using surimi to make a crab salad—please don’t do it. Order a straight bourbon. Something like Maker’s Mark or Knob Creek is fine.

When my father died, I inherited two things: his old cocktail shaker, which I still use, and his recipe for what truly is the perfect Manhattan. Shake exactly one drop of orange bitters into a martini glass and swirl it around. In a cocktail shaker half-filled with crushed ice, add two shots of bourbon and one shot of Martini & Rossi sweet vermouth (I find Cinzano a little too robust and Noilly Prat too cloying—you want to taste the bourbon, not the vermouth). Swirl the mixture around but don’t bruise it; you don’t want a cloudy Manhattan. Strain into a martini glass and add a maraschino cherry. Take a sip. Then start spreading the news. The perfect Manhattan. A gift from my father.

 

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It’s a shame Sergio Leone didn’t shoot “Per Un Pugno di Dollari” (or “A Fistful of Dollars” as it was titled in the States) in Orgosolo, Sardenia instead of Almeria, Spain. Clint Eastwood’s sullen character, The Man With No Name, would have fit right in with the rugged locals of Orgosolo, men known for their secretive ways and a fondness for revenge. In fact, just a few years before Leone shot what some consider to be the first commercially successful Spaghetti Western (for all of $200,000), Vittorio De Seta, shot “Bandits of Orgosolo” in the untamed region of Barbagia, an area long known for its lawlessness.

The film, shot in sort of a documentary style in 1961, used non-professional actors from Orgosolo to portray the hard-knock life of the poor farmers and shepherds who, like the warring cowboys in “Fistful of Dollars, make a meager living through banditry. Back in the 60s, you ventured into Orgosolo at your own risk. As Pasquale Cugia wrote of the area, “The people of Orgosolo, bold and proud, eager for adventure, have warlike ardor in their blood and the restlessness of the nomad races.”

 

photo by David Lansing

photo by David Lansing

Sort of reminds me of what The Man With No Name has to say when he first wanders into the little hellhole in “Fistful of Dollars” and says the only one making any money in town is the undertaker. Did you know that they originally offered the Clint Eastwood part to James Coburn, who turned it down, and then to Charles Bronson, who thought the plot was ridiculous, and finally to Richard Harrison? And it was Harrison who suggested to Sergio Leone that he get Eastwood for the part.

Anyway, we hung out in Orgosolo yesterday, chatting it up with these old guys sitting on a stone wall who looked sort of like a bunch of aging Tony Sopranos. I asked one of them if it was true that the shepherds here used to kidnap people and take them to their hideouts up in the rugged mountains of the Supramonte. The guy just shrugged, like How should he know? Then another old guy started whistling. Maybe I was just being paranoid but it sounded a lot like the theme from the last of the Dollars Trilogy, “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.” From somewhere down the mostly deserted street, I thought I heard the sound of a cracking whip. A few minutes later, a sullen youth passed by yanking a stubborn donkey with a rope. When the donkey stopped walking, the youth yanked the rope as hard as he could. Once he yanked and the donkey yanked back and the youth stumbled to the ground in front of us. I almost laughed. But then I thought about the scene in “Fistful of Dollars” when Eastwood’s character says, “I don’t think it’s nice, you laughin’. You see, my mule don’t like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him.”

And then he shoots everyone. Which seems like a pretty ridiculous scene. Until you’ve spent an afternoon in Orgosolo. 

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How to cook a song thrush

About a million people have asked me if I was kidding when I mentioned eating roasted birds at the Santa Greca festival. Absolutely not. This is a local delicacy and I suggest you give it a try at your next dinner party (it will definitely be something new for most of your guests).

Since not everyone knows how to properly prepare roasted tordo, as the song thrush is called in Sardinia, I’m including a recipe passed on to me by my Sardinian handler, Paola Loi.

First of all, you need to catch eight good-sized song thrushes. If you don’t have any thrushes in your neck of the woods you can substitute black birds, which are easier to catch but also a little gamier than the song thrush which tastes a bit like roasted dog, though not as fatty, when properly roasted.

Pluck the thrushes without removing the entrails and then put the birds in a saucepan with a couple of sprigs of fresh myrtle and cover with water. Boil as you would hot dogs. When done, drain and generously salt the birds. Tie the birds in bunches and wrap their heads in more myrtle. Let them stand at room temp for a few hours.

About 15 minutes before you’re ready to sit down to dinner, take the boiled birds and put two each on skewers, then roast slowly over a low wood fire, turning the birds every couple of minutes so that the skin is crisp but the entrails don’t explode. Serve over fregula (like couscous). Do not eat the beaks and stomach.

Buon appetito!

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